In this post, I will be outlining the text that I use to funnel all options in to the Arrival at Station (A5). They include The Bathroom (A3.3), and The Encounter Outside (A4). Finally, I have also inserted a TL (text link during A4) that outlines the terminology “brother” that was used. Although, it is very common in religious settings, if not understood, it can be misinterpreted. This also allows the reader to take a deeper dive into the narrative if they so choose.
Finally, as I am writing out the texts, I am realizing just how much material there is too discuss. I have to be very conscious to stay on the main plot points rather than getting caught up in details. Does anyone have advice when it comes to this? As well, treading the line of interesting content can be quite challenging. I don’t want to overwhelm the reader, but I also don’t want to bore them. Overall, I guess these challenges present great opportunity because there is a wide variety of ways that we can take this narrative.
A3.3_ In the Bathroom (We continue the investigation in the bathroom)
We walk into the bathroom, my palms still covered in sweat. It seems that the bathroom has been at large untouched. There are a stack of diapers on the counter next to some wipes at their diaper changing station. A bottle of open perfume rests beside a hairbrush near the sink. Everything seems orderly, the criminals mustn’t have entered the space. Regardless, the team takes a number of photos for evidence. It is very eerie to see their possessions, signs of what their life once was.
*Next (A4)
A4_The Encounter Outside (Having investigated the crime scene thoroughly, we walk outside)
Bill and I are outside, discussing the crime scene further. We write down pertinent information such as the location, time, date (July 24th 1984), etc. Meanwhile, all that I can think of are the family photos hanging in the hallway, and baby’s toys in the living room. We approach another officer on scene, he is sitting on the steps where I once was and greets us with a nod,
“[(x, insert protagonist name)], Bill”.
Bill begins,
“Alright, we’ll need you and Moris to get the print kit, and video camera. Get every square inch of that place”.
The younger officer then replies with a weariness in their voice,
“I don’t think I can go back in”.
I then respond, knowing full well how hard the night has been for everyone,
“Gather yourself brother (*TL), for their sake. Come on”.
Suddenly, someone stumbles on the scene with appearances of shock. All offices in the surrounding area immediately respond by pulling out their guns. Taba expresses in a loud commanding voice,
“Stay right there, stay right there! Hands up. Hands in the air!” the intensity of his voice rising with each enunciation.
The man lifts his arms and wanders out of a shadow into the light. His eyes are watery, red, and puffy. Most frightening of all, his knees, hands, and shirt are all staines red with blood …
*Next (A5)
TL_Brother (religious terminology)
In the Mormon church, calling fellow members by the name brother (for men) or sister (for women) is very common. For instance, they would say “Hello Brother / Sister Black” when greeting someone with that last name. It is not only a term of endearment, but also reflects their beliefs, and the close relationship that they have with each other.
References
Dustin Lance Black Director. Under the Banner of Heaven. Aggregate Film, Imagine Television, FXP, 2022.
Krakauwer, Jon. Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith. New York, Penguin, June 2004.
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